The Rattic

This is a poor substitute for biting Piper's ears, but I must grudgingly admit that yoghurt pots are quite fun to destroy. By 'fun' I do, of course, mean 'not entirely unbearable'.

And by 'destroy' I mean 'turn into brilliant three dimensional artwork'.

( Much better than Adric's pathetic excuse for 'art'! )

Of course, this hardly takes me any time, so I shall now return to chewing the cage bars and wurbling loudly to indicate my general displeasure regarding life, the universe, and everything. But another yoghurt pot tomorrow wouldn't go amiss. Just so you know.

Look wot I found in my box of treshure!

( mummy lets me do wat I want because I a funny boy :D )

Mummy and grandma gave me a bath today. A bath! How dare they? I do not 'stink' and their description of me as such is immature and needlessly mean. It's their fault I 'stink' if they took Piper away from me so she doesn't wash me any more. I happen to like my natural odour. I do not need to wash myself, nor do need to be submurgerd in horrible soapy water, thank you very much. I most definitely do not need to be cuddled in a towel after they have committed such an act of betrayal.

They will pay for this atrocity.

It has been very hot this week and we have all been extra sleepy, except Nos went to sleep and he didn't wake up again! :((((

I do not understand. He was only one year old. We are all very sad. Especially mummy. And me, because he was my friend. I will miss him lots, even if he didn't do very much. <3 I hope he has gone somewhere nice, with food.

In our room we have some boring not-rats that sit on the table and do nothing. Sometimes Piper walks on them and drips on them, so they are ALL DIRTY. And this will not do, I do not like DIRTY THINGS, so I pulled them into my favourite hiding place under the table where I do all my grooming, and I washed them! Yay I am such a clever boy!

( I did this all by myself! )

Mummy says I am fat!

Actually this is true but I am an old lady and I have lumps, I am allowed to be fat! It doesn't matter if I can't run... and my tummy scrapes on the floor... anyway, I won't let them take my FOOD away so mummy and grandma are making me climb the stairs to get treats. Whaaaaaaaaat. NOT FAIR.

WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME??? IT IS HARD WORK AND UNDIGNIFIED! D:



Oh well. At least I get a yoggie when I get to the top.

Also I like to help mummy with the shiny box. And I chatter lots because I a happy girl. Except when they make me climb stairs.

I found a nice bit of food in the bin, and then I tried to eat it and it ran away from me! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. FOOD DOESN'T MOVE. FOOD DOESN'T HAVE LEGS.

It was scary! D:

I'm sorry this is so late. Mummy has been away with the shiny box. But here is a happy birthday message for my dear admirer.

I hope you can hear my whistling!



Mummy says you are 25. That is very very old. :o I hope you had a good birthday. Did you get a muffin and crayons? Can I have some?

There is a big silver box in our room and one day mummy left the lid open and I found that it is full of TRESHURE!

( Look at all this stuff! )

What do you mean I am silly?

( I am quite digneefide, thank you! )

On Friday it was my birthday. I am now two years old, which makes me a Senior Rat, like Piper.

Of course, I am above such frivolities as birthday parties, so I remained mostly uninterested in this milestone. I did get a muffin but after a bite or two it wasn't dreadfully exciting. I would have rather eaten Piper's ears.

( One photo )

I am still sulking about living on my own... It's not my fault, what did a bit of harmless ear-tearing and eye-gouging ever do to hurt anyone?!

It would have been my sister Ginny's birthday as well, of course. I miss her. I quite liked her really. I didn't even bite her ears...

So I was on my own in the boring little cage for a few days because I was ill, but I was really homesick so MUMMY PUT ME BACK HOME AND I AM SO HAPPY NOW! :D

It is still hard to breathe and mummy is still forcing that horrible tasting stuff down my throat twice a day, so that is not so good, but mostly I am better because I a HAPPY GIRL WITH MY FRIENDS! I missed them so much! I love my cagemates! Especially Adric! He was extra pleased to see me. It is so good to be back home with him and my sisters. And mummy is happy too because I am eating again. Which means I am BETTER, I think. Maybe she will stop making me have the yucky stuff soon. :D

Except now everyone except me and Adric is grumpy because it is too hot. Oh well. They didn't get newmonia like me, they can't complain!

My sister is very ill suddenly! D: The hot weather made her funny breathing get worse and now she has newmonia, which is Very Bad I think!

I could tell she was sick before mummy even noticed 'cos she was not herself at all. I have been snuggling up with her to look after her, which is what made mummy notice there was something wrong (Kitty doesn't usually cuddle with me). Only now I can't look after her any more 'cos mummy took her out to go to the Scary Place where they stick pointy things in you, and now she is in the little cage all by herself.

(This might be because Adric was humping her and Tosh was bouncing on her head. But we only want to look after her!)

Mummy says if she doesn't get better by tomorrow she might not get better at all. :(((((( Please send good luck for Kitty. I love my sister very, very much - we all do - and I want to make her better.

Chairs are yummy.

Mummy is a spoilsport. :(

Yesterday was my second birthday! I am two years old! I think that is old but I don't feel old at all. A bit fat, though...

ANYWAY, so guess what I got today? LOTS OF FOOD! :D Mummy got me a banana muffin for my birthday! Hooray!

And even better, guess what she put on it instead of candles?

No, go on, guess...

WAX CRAYONS!!!

Just like Miney's birthday muffin! :D I love Miney! I LOVE WAX CRAYONS! :D:D:D




And I got lots of cuddles and fuss, too! I A HAPPY GIRL! BIRTHDAYS IS GOOD!

( Lots and lots and lots of photos, because it is my birthday and I should be worshipped even more! )

FISHING FOR TISSUES! I always check pockets for tissues. And then throw them on the floor.



Mummy was trying to get me to pose and be all cute like Piper does with the flashy thing. Pffft. Tissues are much more important. Also, I like eating the flashy thing. And then mummy complains that there are sticky paw marks on it. Mummy is annoying.

Tickle my fuzzy tummy please?

I like you, malfoy! Because of you I get lots of food while mummy points the shiny thing in my face for you to see me! HOORAY THANK YOU! FOOD IS GOOD!

SEE HOW I NOM NOM NOM


(Mummy says: LOOK, IT'S THE BOGGLY EYES IN MOTION! Thought you'd enjoy this. Lulz, see how her ears wobble when she eats? Most flexible dumbo ears EVAR. And that crash was Kitty knocking the lid off a box. The way Piper's ears go up at that absolutely cracks me up. XD I did try to get her to give the camera kisses for you - she does sometimes - but she just wanted more popcorn. Typical.)

Well that is because food is much more important!

But my ears are awesome, yes.

Last night I was hoarding food in the igloo like always and Piper came and took my peanut BEFORE I HAD FINISHED! I got very cross and huffed at her. (I didn't hurt her but she screamed a lot. Maybe she was scared that I was going to bite her ears like Gabby used to. I am not that nasty!)

Anyway, that reminded me of something. I am usually a very nice and calm rat and I get on with everybody and I look after them all. But there is one thing that makes me ANGRY. I don't like it when they interfere with my food stash or my nest building!

Sometimes we get spaghetti, which is good. It is long and slimey and stretchy and nice to sleep on. One time I spent hours making a nice nest out of the spaghetti in the igloo so everyone could snuggle up in it and enjoy the cold stickiness. It was a very beautiful nest.

AND THEN THEY ATE IT!!!

They ate my beautiful spaghetti nest that I built for them! How dare they?!

I was heartbroken and wouldn't talk to them and went in the hammock and sulked by myself for two days. And mummy laughed at me. IT IS NOT FAIR. DOES NO-ONE SEE THE INJUSTICE???



- Willow

LOOK LOOK I AM THE CLEVERREST RAT IN THE WORLD!

There is a shiny box thing that mummy has and she waves it in my face and it makes funny noises and flashes at me and then later pictures come out of it! It is very misteerius and many of us have tryd to discover the secrets of this majic picture box but to no avale.

WELL I DID!

YOU HAVE TO PRESS THE BUTTON ON THE TOP! That takes a picture! That is what makes the art stuff!

YOU REEKA! (I dont reek. I am very clean. I wash lots, thankyouverymuch.)

So now I understand how it works I thort I would try my hand at this fotografy lark. When mummy got the majic box out I climed up and pressd the button myself with my own hand and I took a picture!!! All by myself!

( LOOK AT MY PICTURE IT IS SO GRATE!! )

See how clever I am? I AM AN ARTEEEST!

Hello nice people who love me! I am Hakuna Matata Piper. I live in a big house somewhere with my friends Willow and Kitty and Tosh and Adric and Nos (and Gabby used to be my friend but she's not any more 'cos she bites my ears, I have new friends and they are nicer to me!) and my Mummy sasha_lilyrat and Uncle Sam and Grandma and Grandad and the Big Stupid (I see he already did a post. How rude. Don't worry, mostly it will be just us ratties here. We can spell better. Most of us. Maybe not the boys).

Mummy made us have this journal to talk about our lives and show you the things that don't go on her art account. And I am posting first (the Big Stupid doesn't count, ok) because I AM THE BESTEST.

Mummy says there is someone called malfoy who really really loves my big eyes. That's why mummy is always sticking the flashy thing in my face, it is for my admirer to see me! It's true that I am very beautiful and you are right to worship me, so here is some photos of me and my gorgeous blue eyes for you, mystery person.
( Click me! )

See how gorgeous I am? Now give me FOOD.

Love from Piper xxx