The Rattic

Today a good thing happend. THERE WAS WITE STUF ON THE GROWND THAT ONLY COMES WUNS A YEER CALLD SNOW.

( I LOVE SNOW! )

Snow is gud!

EXEPT

Wen I went out for walkies in the park there was a littel person MADE OF SNOW!!! And it had STICKS for arms!! It was REELY REELY SCARY so I BARKED AT IT LOTS and wudnt go neer it. THAT WIL SHOW IT IT CANT HURT ME. I do not understand y mummy was larfing at me. :(

Mummy sed sumwone wud like theez pictyurs of me (+ Nessa!)

( lots an lots of fotos in here )

I LIKE PEES AND EE-EM-PEE.

This week has been HORRIBUL!

First mummy put the new babys on the sofa with me and thay squeeked and I got told off! I only huffed at bit! Not fare! :(

AND THEN mummy put the babys in MY CAGE with MY GIRLS and she put me in the little tiny baby cage were is is BORING (I only like if when I am not SUPOSED to be in it!) and made me stay in there for DAYS! Just like last time wen the twins moved in but EVEN LONGER! And I tried to go home when she let me out for playtime but she wudnt let me! And all the babys was on the sofa squeeking at me! D:

So I was very sad and wudnt talk to her and went on a hungry strike and made mummy feel GILTY. HAH.

AND THEN she put me back in MY CAGE, YES, but the igloo wasnt there and all the little ones were screeming and crying at me (even the twins who I lived with befor!) and fiting eech other and the little white curly one kept BITING MY HEAD, HOW DARE SHE???? And I was REELY REELY GUD and ignord them and didn't even huff AT ALL but mummy STILL wudnt let me stay home and she put me back in the littel cage AGEN! DDDDDD:

And then mummy was all sad wich SERVES HER RITE FOR BEING MEEN and then she put me on the sofa with GABBY! EVIL GABBY! And I has met Gabby befor so I know she's nasty so I got redy to fite her and I huffed and kicked her lots but she just lay there and lookd all old and week and mummy got cross and took me away agen! I DONT UNDERSTAND! GABBY IS EVIL! IT WAS A TRIK, SHE WAS GOING TO HURT ME! DDD:

Y DO I ALWAYS GET TOLD OF JUST BECUS I'M THE BIGGEST WUN? I A GUD BOY!

SO THEN I was still in the littel cage BUT FINALY mummy put me back in my big cage and the babys didnt screem quite so much that time so she let me stay there for the nite! And I was scared that mummy wud take me away agen the next day but it has been a few days now and I think she is letting me stay there so YAY! I AM HOME! WITH MY HAMMOCK AND IGLOO AND PIPER AND NO SCARY GABBY! And also 4 babys now, but they are ok wen thare not biting me and being noisy I supose.

BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND Y I GET PUNISHD WENT THE LITTEL WUNS ARE BEING NORTY! ITS NOT FARE, I A GUD BOY! I WASNT DOING ENYTHING RONG! WOT IF THEY NEVER STOPED SCREEMING AND I NEVER GOT TO GO HOME? WOT THEN?! SEE, I THINK MUMMY IS MEEN AND UNFARE!!!! DDDD:

Oh well it is nise to be home finaly. Were it is comfy and warm.

( I missd my igloo! )

BUT THIS BETTER NOT HAPEN AGEN. EVER.

( Merry Christmas )

It has been very sad round here reesently so mummy says it is my job to bring sum happy. Y would she chooz me for that?

Anyways I cant think of much happy stuff for reesons what I will explane later but come to think of it there is 1 happy thing: Piper and Kitty moved back home! They was in the funny short cage with Willow for a wile but Piper was homesick so she moved back in with me (yay, she is nice to lye on) and Kitty dusnt care were she lives so she came home to. I LIKE KITTY. SHE MY BEST FREND. :D So that is happy I gess.

But mostly I am VERY CROSS. You want to no why? Becus a few weeks ago, THIS HAPPUND:

( Fotos! )

!!!

OMG! WAT IS IT? WERE DID THEY COME FROM?

I R CONFYOOSD.

OMG! 0_0

Yesterday was my sisters' and my birthday! We are TWO, can you believe it? Someone needs to explain to Kitty that this means she is an old lady now. She doesn't get it. Silly girl.

ANYWAY, we got a muffin with candles and ferretvite. :D

( No videos this time, but epic photospam! )

This is a poor substitute for biting Piper's ears, but I must grudgingly admit that yoghurt pots are quite fun to destroy. By 'fun' I do, of course, mean 'not entirely unbearable'.

And by 'destroy' I mean 'turn into brilliant three dimensional artwork'.

( Much better than Adric's pathetic excuse for 'art'! )

Of course, this hardly takes me any time, so I shall now return to chewing the cage bars and wurbling loudly to indicate my general displeasure regarding life, the universe, and everything. But another yoghurt pot tomorrow wouldn't go amiss. Just so you know.

Look wot I found in my box of treshure!

( mummy lets me do wat I want because I a funny boy :D )

In our room we have some boring not-rats that sit on the table and do nothing. Sometimes Piper walks on them and drips on them, so they are ALL DIRTY. And this will not do, I do not like DIRTY THINGS, so I pulled them into my favourite hiding place under the table where I do all my grooming, and I washed them! Yay I am such a clever boy!

( I did this all by myself! )

There is a big silver box in our room and one day mummy left the lid open and I found that it is full of TRESHURE!

( Look at all this stuff! )

What do you mean I am silly?

( I am quite digneefide, thank you! )

On Friday it was my birthday. I am now two years old, which makes me a Senior Rat, like Piper.

Of course, I am above such frivolities as birthday parties, so I remained mostly uninterested in this milestone. I did get a muffin but after a bite or two it wasn't dreadfully exciting. I would have rather eaten Piper's ears.

( One photo )

I am still sulking about living on my own... It's not my fault, what did a bit of harmless ear-tearing and eye-gouging ever do to hurt anyone?!

It would have been my sister Ginny's birthday as well, of course. I miss her. I quite liked her really. I didn't even bite her ears...

Yesterday was my second birthday! I am two years old! I think that is old but I don't feel old at all. A bit fat, though...

ANYWAY, so guess what I got today? LOTS OF FOOD! :D Mummy got me a banana muffin for my birthday! Hooray!

And even better, guess what she put on it instead of candles?

No, go on, guess...

WAX CRAYONS!!!

Just like Miney's birthday muffin! :D I love Miney! I LOVE WAX CRAYONS! :D:D:D




And I got lots of cuddles and fuss, too! I A HAPPY GIRL! BIRTHDAYS IS GOOD!

( Lots and lots and lots of photos, because it is my birthday and I should be worshipped even more! )

LOOK LOOK I AM THE CLEVERREST RAT IN THE WORLD!

There is a shiny box thing that mummy has and she waves it in my face and it makes funny noises and flashes at me and then later pictures come out of it! It is very misteerius and many of us have tryd to discover the secrets of this majic picture box but to no avale.

WELL I DID!

YOU HAVE TO PRESS THE BUTTON ON THE TOP! That takes a picture! That is what makes the art stuff!

YOU REEKA! (I dont reek. I am very clean. I wash lots, thankyouverymuch.)

So now I understand how it works I thort I would try my hand at this fotografy lark. When mummy got the majic box out I climed up and pressd the button myself with my own hand and I took a picture!!! All by myself!

( LOOK AT MY PICTURE IT IS SO GRATE!! )

See how clever I am? I AM AN ARTEEEST!

Hello nice people who love me! I am Hakuna Matata Piper. I live in a big house somewhere with my friends Willow and Kitty and Tosh and Adric and Nos (and Gabby used to be my friend but she's not any more 'cos she bites my ears, I have new friends and they are nicer to me!) and my Mummy sasha_lilyrat and Uncle Sam and Grandma and Grandad and the Big Stupid (I see he already did a post. How rude. Don't worry, mostly it will be just us ratties here. We can spell better. Most of us. Maybe not the boys).

Mummy made us have this journal to talk about our lives and show you the things that don't go on her art account. And I am posting first (the Big Stupid doesn't count, ok) because I AM THE BESTEST.

Mummy says there is someone called malfoy who really really loves my big eyes. That's why mummy is always sticking the flashy thing in my face, it is for my admirer to see me! It's true that I am very beautiful and you are right to worship me, so here is some photos of me and my gorgeous blue eyes for you, mystery person.
( Click me! )

See how gorgeous I am? Now give me FOOD.

Love from Piper xxx